Monday, June 5, 2017

It's lonely at the deep end

It has been a while since I posted....not that anyone would notice, with the exception of my dear friend Margaret...Hi Margaret!  :) Oh, I have had a lot to say, just no urgency to say it.  A lack of fire in my belly you might say.  Uninspired.  

The Adoption process is moving along....slowly.  But that is how it goes when you are going through the state I suppose. And this is ok, we need the time for preparations!  And I am not just talking about the house.  Spiritually and emotionally....we are praying for God to prepare us for the child and the child for us.  (I hope there is one out there that will want us!)

But I want to make a wild hair turn in the road here for this post.  Something Dwight and I have been struggling with for quite some time and are frustrated afresh with is the lack of true connection we feel at church.  I googled this topic today with the words, "I don't feel connected at church" and boys howdy, it seems there are a lot of other people who feel the exact same way we do!  (see the comments from the blog:

It's frustrating! In this dark, cold world, you would think that if there was any place you could feel safe, loved and accepted, it would be in the church.  Isn't that where hurting people are supposed to run to to find compassion and healing? With the people of God?  Yet, we have found time after time, that after the initial "Hi, we're glad you are here visiting with us, have a loaf of banana bread" has worn off, most people do not really even want to engage with you at all, let alone at a deep level of mutual honesty and brotherly communion.  And that is what I crave.  Sure, I go to church to worship God and hear His word taught.  But I seem to leave the church feeling rather disregarded and empty most of the time.  Can I get a witness?  Why are we so cold and detached to one another?  I tell you, I find more cordiality and friendliness standing in line at the grocery store with a stranger than I feel at the House of God sometimes.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!  

Now I know some might retort, "To have a friend, one must show himself friendly." Check.  Trying my darnedest.  I went to the Ladies Bible Study for a few times....same thing.  Get the general pleasantries over with and go back to their set friends who they really want to talk to.  "Well maybe you just need to get more involved, volunteer to serve somewhere in the church." Check times three.  Of the three different ministries I have signed up to help in, I have yet to hear back from only one and so far they have not been in any hurry to get me involved.  One ministry leader didn't even have the common courtesy to reply to my email at all.  

So where is this whine fest going you ask?  You know, I really don't know.  I just know that I desire deeper relationships with others, need the honesty and support of true friendship, especially as we embark on our adoption journey, and we are hard pressed to find it in the church.  I would love to hear any comments or feedback that anyone has on this subject.  Leaving this one hanging out there for a while....

Peace and Love.